Sunday, January 18, 2009

Hey Kotaku? Yeah, you!

HIATUS OFF:

Hey Kotaku- I know you read this. So you gotta give me an answer.

What is with the whole, "Here is your..." sentence structure that you guys seem obsessed with these days.

Here is your New Final Fantasy Playstation Console
Here are your XBLA top ten retro games
Here is your super dooper next-gen graphics PC car
Here is your daily dose of publisher hyperbole
Here are your monthly NPD numbers


Oooh, I know:

Here is your chance to knock it the FUCK off cause it drives me up the fucking wall!


Ahem... :)

So, are you guys riffing on some net meme that I am not aware of? Is it indeed a joke that I simply don't get cause I musta missed the kick off meeting (ala the whole DUDE HUGE thing, which in the end, had to be explained to me by a kind poster on this blog)?

The only thing I can think of is when that Playstation spokeswoman ages ago was showing the XMB and she's all like- after showing it, "And there's your new interface"....

...that stuck with me cause I just found her wording a touch on the odd side...

...but that probably has nothing to do with what you guys are doing/referencing/talking about, but it's the only thing in my memory bank that even comes close to feeling like a cross reference.

So I ask: What is up with this, Kotaku?!?

Anyway...it's my problem, not yours. I still loves ya, Kotaku. But for the love of God, explain the joke or tell me it's NOT supposed to be a joke and it's just the way you guys talk/write so I can stop getting annoyed by it.

High maintenance? ME?!?! Nah... :)

David

HIATUS BACK ON-

50 comments:

PrinceOfAmerica said...

"Here is your" might be a reference to stadium announcers when they call out the arrival of the home team.

"And here are YOUR 2008 Oakland Raiders (boooo.....)" etc.

Gawker tends to like their blogs to use some kind of catch phrase. The Consumerist likes to put the reader into the position of the story's submitter, such as "Dell says it's your fault your computer exploded during delivery," etc.

S.Spielberg said...

Is Twisted Metal PS3 coming out in 2009 or 2010?

Anonymous said...

lol, i like your hiatus off, hiatus on thing

Benjamin Gilbert said...

You should read Joystiq instead. The whole situation will work out better AND you won't be feeding into Nick Deton's enormous ego/bank account.

Quirk said...

GAMING JOURNALISM AT IT'S FINEST

Anonymous said...

Get a life Jaffe.

Shouldn't you be busy making games?

Anonymous said...

i have a boner

notpill said...

Oh David, so you don't know the Gawker Media Style Guide:

http://www.magicalwasteland.com/2008/07/the_gawker_media_style_guide.htm

notpill said...

Oh David, you don't know the Gawker Media Style Guide

KonKat said...

Thats funny because it's never caught my eye.. But now it's gonna bug the shit outta me. lol.

Anywho, nice to hear from you; even if the subject was a little odd.. Have a good week David.

Rey said...

(sorry 4 being off topic)

hay Jaffe are going to get RE5 this coming March 13?

I_Hate_david said...

Dear David: As a hater of you and your work and the horrible franchises that you created...i want to wish you a very horrible fucken day, thank you:)

Anonymous said...

Wow, you went through the entire process to create a name inspired by someone you don't even know that you hate. What a wonderful life you must have as a typical hater.

Horrible franchises?!?!?! Are you smoking crack? Your games wouldn't be the same with those so called "horrible franchises" you dweeb.

I hate Kotaku. Worse gaming site for news.

BTW, how do you comment on someone elses blog and tell them to get a life? It's their fuckin blog you fuckin moron. Don't click the link and don't read it if you don't like it.

Anonymous said...

David being reasonable for stating his opinions on his blog. And, funny how haters could ask him to get a life when blogging is all about writing your personal opinions and daily events. Haters be Damn, ya b!tche need start getting a life!

Kotaku's b!tch ain't got no shit..

Anonymous said...

@ ABOVE;

Take an English class, you sound like a moron.

Anonymous said...

Kotaku has sucked for a while, usually now post stories that are a couple of days old and they went a whole day without any I think on saturday.

Anonymous said...

Kotaku sucks, its full of 13yo Xbox fans that enjoy sucking dicks

Anonymous said...

The PSblog is the same fucking way. We this, we that. It pisses me the fuck off. Who's we and can I punch we in the fucking face.

Anonymous said...

Kotaku suck ass,sorry,but I used to love that site until they turned into Metal Gear Solid haters

Colin said...

Hey David here is your extremely well thought out answer....


aw fuck it, it was funny in my head

anyway, it has to be a take on marketing thing, here is your new TV, yours for just 1 dollar a week for the next 57,000 weeks. It is your new tv, take away your new tv today.
etc
its a play on that, right ?

Gazzo said...

I don't go to Kotaku that often, so I've never noticed that. That's a little strange, though. Maybe it's some inside joke?

Although, to be honest, you've been pulling the "Hey you guys, it's David." opening since the dawn of time in your video blogs. Don't change that, though. I always look for it every time you make a video blog.

Anonymous said...

wow, what about your overused phrases:

"ya'll"
"totally swamped"
"chat later"

time for some new material...

R said...

I wish Kotaku would say.

Here is your Twisted Metal ps3 videos and release date...

Ehh.. we can all have dreams huh Jaffe.

Eddie R Inzauto said...

"Here is your..." headlines historically get a lot of traffic. Kotaku wants traffic.

grasshopper said...

Hiatus off had me all happy until I got to the end.

I noticed seeing that also...never really thought about it though.

VGambit said...

While we're complaining about Kotaku:

Use cliffhangers and subtle lead-ins instead of "More after the jump."

Stop banning every commenter who takes the unpopular side of an argument. Just because they don't always agree with you doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to voice their opinion, especially when they try to be as articulate and tactful about it as possible.

VGambit said...

Also: http://www.google.co.jp/search?as_q=&hl=ja&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aja%3Aofficial&hs=zq1&num=10&btnG=Google+%E6%A4%9C%E7%B4%A2&as_epq=here+is+your+&as_oq=&as_eq=&lr=&cr=&as_ft=i&as_filetype=&as_qdr=all&as_occt=any&as_dt=i&as_sitesearch=kotaku.com&as_rights=&safe=images

6040 hits for "here is your" at kotaku.com. Wow.

sammyekek said...

Hi David! I just wanted to let you know that I'm one of those French dudes who always lurk around your blog without posting any comment :) It's been like ages we have been doing so ^^ Yeah I know that's a shame, but that's what we always do when we have nothing to say. Besides, keep us posted and when I say so I mean more POSTS! and more about games, pls...

xin0 said...

Bruv it's not even them, it's all these fucking geeks and trash game sites (there's so many of them for fuck sake!)

Back in 2002-03 it was all about what console was the best, Xbox Ps2 or Gamecube. That's what every gamers were banging on about

2004-05 was all about graphics.

2006-07 was all about games coming to the PS3 and Xbox 360. People were going on about that.

2008-09 everyone is just fucking banging on about the NPD, sales and who's winning. Freaking annoying.


I'm lately checking out N4G, that brings me so much gaming news. Now all I fucking see are console fucking sales! Fucking geeks, who gives a damn about sales, do I look like a shareholder? I want to know about games coming out, not companies losing. Not knowing about Wii making the biggest sale.

For the pass 2 weeks now, all I'm seeing now is exclusive for 2009. Freaking hell!


I don't check Kotaku much, but IGN has the worst articles. They always come up with wasteful articles!

200

Anonymous said...

Jaffe is the shit.

(As long as the new TM title will be set in the TMB universe.)

Anonymous said...

David YOUR FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!

Anonymous said...

http://www.polymath.co.nz/?p=491

KREEPYKRAWLLY said...

Don't bother your pretty "twisted-metal-head" with that yeast infected site.

Anonymous said...

we'll find out AFTER THE JUMP!

yourugly said...

You actually know what the whole "dude huge" thing means? cause I'd still like to know...

Tim said...

1) Kotaku bloggers aren't witty or creative enough to write better headlines.

2) If a Kotaku blogger can't write a flamebait or sensationalistic headline, "Here is your..." is the contingency headline. What do you expect from bush league "writers" like them?

3) A typical Koatku post is 2-3 sentences of editorial and 4-5 sentences of quoted material (if applicable). What makes you think they're going to waste any time writing a decent headline?

4) It's Gawker Media after all -- they don't have to try very hard, e.g. "Day Note," "Night Note," "Tell Us Dammit," etc.

5) Kotaku staffers -- especially Crecente and Hackcraft -- have the thinnest skins in the business. Jaffe, had you posed your query on Kotaku you'd have been banned already.

Anonymous said...

Mr Jaffe - delivery!
Here are your E-numbers-laced foods and drinks to keep you hyper

Anonymous said...

Jaffey You are the man!
Agree or disagree with you you always say whats on your mind.
Now can you make us a kick ass game for the Wii Please?

Anonymous said...

Here's your annoying comment of the day...

J&D said...

網頁設計,情趣用品店,情趣用品專賣網
A片下載,成人影片下載
威而柔,自慰套,自慰套,SM,充氣娃娃,充氣娃娃,潤滑液,飛機杯,按摩棒,跳蛋,性感睡衣,威而柔,自慰套,自慰套,SM,充氣娃娃,充氣娃娃,潤滑液,飛機杯,按摩棒,跳蛋,性感睡衣
情惑用品性易購
免費視訊聊天室,aio交友愛情館,愛情公寓,一葉情貼圖片區,情色貼圖,情色文學,色情聊天室,情色小說,情色電影,情色論壇,成人論壇,辣妹視訊,視訊聊天室,情色視訊,免費視訊,免費視訊聊天,視訊交友網,視訊聊天室,視訊美女,視訊交友,視訊交友90739,AV,AV女優
視訊,影音視訊聊天室
影音視訊聊天室

kiloi said...

exposed itnike tnEnter the necessary language translation, up to 200 bytes winter, moves frequently in Chinanike chaussures showing that the deep strategy of the Chinese market. Harvard Business School, tn chaussures according to the relevant survey data show that in recent years the Chinese market three brands, Adidas, mens clothingpolo shirts Li Ning market share at 21 percent, respectively, 20%, 17%. The brand is first-line to three lines of urban competition for mutual penetration. Side of theworld,announced layoffs, while China's large-scale facilities fists. The sporting goods giant Nike's every move in the winter will be fully s strategy. Years later, the Nike, Inc. announced the world's Fan

shen bing said...

cheap hair straightenerscheap flat ironnew polo shirtssexy lingerie storepolo shirtsnorth face jacketschi straightenerpink chichaussures puma chaussure puma

shen bing said...

hair straightenersugg bootscheap handbagscheap bagscheap pursetntattoo wholesalejackets worldjackets cartmen's clothingwomen's clothing

shen bing said...

handbags Louis Vuitton Vuitton handbags Balenciaga Balenciaga Bally handbagsBottega Veneta handbagsCartier handbagsChanel handbagsChloe handbagsChristian Dior handbagsCoach handbagsDolce Gabanna handbags

shen bing said...

Fendi handbags Givenchy handbags Gucci handbags Hermes handbags Jimmy Choo handbags Juicy Couture handbags lsabella Fiore handbags Miu Miu handbags Mulberry handbags Prada handbags Tods handbags Versace handbags Yves Saint Laurent handbags

shen bing said...

Men's Lacoste Polo Shirts Men's RL Striped Polo Shirts Women's Lacoste Polo Shirts Men's polo shirts Men's polo shirts Men's polo shirts 4 polo shirts Women's polo shirts 21 polo shirts Men's polo shirts Women's LACOSTE 5 PCS of Ralph Women's lacoste polo shirts

Anonymous said...

酒店經紀PRETTY GIRL 台北酒店經紀人 ,禮服店 酒店兼差PRETTY GIRL酒店公關 酒店小姐 彩色爆米花酒店兼職,酒店工作 彩色爆米花酒店經紀, 酒店上班,酒店工作 PRETTY GIRL酒店喝酒酒店上班 彩色爆米花台北酒店酒店小姐 PRETTY GIRL酒店上班酒店打工PRETTY GIRL酒店打工酒店經紀 彩色爆米花

Anonymous said...

There are ed hardy shirts
,pretty ed hardy shirt for men,

ed hardy womens in the ed hardy online store

designed by ed hardy ,
many cheap ed hardy shirt ,glasses,caps,trouers ed hardy shirts on sale ,

You can go to edhardyshirts.com to have a look ,you may find one of ed hardy clothing fit for you
Top qualitymen's jacket,
These cheap jacket are on sale now,you can find
north face jackets inmage on our web
Ralph Lauren Polo Shirtsbuberry polo shirts

Do you wannaghd hair straighteners for you own , we have many
cheap ghd hair straightenersin style and great,you can choose one from these
hair straighteners
Authentic chaussure puma
chaussure sport
And chaussure nike shoes
Come here to have a look of our Wholesale Jeans
Many fashionMens Jeans ,eye-catching
Womens Jeans ,and special out standing
Blue Jeans ,you can spend less money on our
Discount Jeans but gain really fine jeans, absolutely a great bargain.
http://www.weddingdressseason.com
 

http://CLOTHES-WHOLESALE.US

Anonymous said...

There are ed hardy shirts
,pretty ed hardy shirt for men,

ed hardy womens in the ed hardy online store

designed by ed hardy ,
many cheap ed hardy shirt ,glasses,caps,trouers ed hardy shirts on sale ,

You can go to edhardyshirts.com to have a look ,you may find one of ed hardy clothing fit for you
Top qualitymen's jacket,
These cheap jacket are on sale now,you can find
north face jackets inmage on our web
Ralph Lauren Polo Shirtsbuberry polo shirts

Do you wannaghd hair straighteners for you own , we have many
cheap ghd hair straightenersin style and great,you can choose one from these
hair straighteners
Authentic chaussure puma
chaussure sport
And chaussure nike shoes
Come here to have a look of our Wholesale Jeans
Many fashionMens Jeans ,eye-catching
Womens Jeans ,and special out standing
Blue Jeans ,you can spend less money on our
Discount Jeans but gain really fine jeans, absolutely a great bargain.
http://www.weddingdressseason.com
 

http://CLOTHES-WHOLESALE.US

酒店上班請找艾葳 said...

艾葳酒店經紀提供專業的酒店經紀,酒店上班,酒店打工、兼職、酒店相關知識等酒店相關產業服務,想加入這行業的水水們請找專業又有保障的艾葳酒店經紀公司!
艾葳酒店經紀是合法的公司、我們是不會跟水水簽任何的合約 ( 請放心 ),我們是不會強押水水辛苦工作的薪水,我們絕對不會對任何人公開水水的資料、工作環境高雅時尚,無業績壓力,無脫秀無喝酒壓力,高層次會員制客源,工作輕鬆。
一般的酒店經紀只會在水水們第一次上班和領薪水時出現而已,對水水們的上班安全一點保障都沒有!艾葳酒店經紀公司的水水們上班時全程媽咪作陪,不需擔心!只提供最優質的酒店上班環境、上班條件給水水們。