Sunday, January 18, 2009

Hey Kotaku? Yeah, you!

HIATUS OFF:

Hey Kotaku- I know you read this. So you gotta give me an answer.

What is with the whole, "Here is your..." sentence structure that you guys seem obsessed with these days.

Here is your New Final Fantasy Playstation Console
Here are your XBLA top ten retro games
Here is your super dooper next-gen graphics PC car
Here is your daily dose of publisher hyperbole
Here are your monthly NPD numbers


Oooh, I know:

Here is your chance to knock it the FUCK off cause it drives me up the fucking wall!


Ahem... :)

So, are you guys riffing on some net meme that I am not aware of? Is it indeed a joke that I simply don't get cause I musta missed the kick off meeting (ala the whole DUDE HUGE thing, which in the end, had to be explained to me by a kind poster on this blog)?

The only thing I can think of is when that Playstation spokeswoman ages ago was showing the XMB and she's all like- after showing it, "And there's your new interface"....

...that stuck with me cause I just found her wording a touch on the odd side...

...but that probably has nothing to do with what you guys are doing/referencing/talking about, but it's the only thing in my memory bank that even comes close to feeling like a cross reference.

So I ask: What is up with this, Kotaku?!?

Anyway...it's my problem, not yours. I still loves ya, Kotaku. But for the love of God, explain the joke or tell me it's NOT supposed to be a joke and it's just the way you guys talk/write so I can stop getting annoyed by it.

High maintenance? ME?!?! Nah... :)

David

HIATUS BACK ON-

42 comments:

Jake. said...

"Here is your" might be a reference to stadium announcers when they call out the arrival of the home team.

"And here are YOUR 2008 Oakland Raiders (boooo.....)" etc.

Gawker tends to like their blogs to use some kind of catch phrase. The Consumerist likes to put the reader into the position of the story's submitter, such as "Dell says it's your fault your computer exploded during delivery," etc.

S.Spielberg said...

Is Twisted Metal PS3 coming out in 2009 or 2010?

Anonymous said...

lol, i like your hiatus off, hiatus on thing

Benjamin Gilbert said...

You should read Joystiq instead. The whole situation will work out better AND you won't be feeding into Nick Deton's enormous ego/bank account.

Anonymous said...

GAMING JOURNALISM AT IT'S FINEST

Anonymous said...

Get a life Jaffe.

Shouldn't you be busy making games?

Anonymous said...

i have a boner

Anonymous said...

Oh David, so you don't know the Gawker Media Style Guide:

http://www.magicalwasteland.com/2008/07/the_gawker_media_style_guide.htm

Anonymous said...

Oh David, you don't know the Gawker Media Style Guide

Anonymous said...

Thats funny because it's never caught my eye.. But now it's gonna bug the shit outta me. lol.

Anywho, nice to hear from you; even if the subject was a little odd.. Have a good week David.

Anonymous said...

(sorry 4 being off topic)

hay Jaffe are going to get RE5 this coming March 13?

Anonymous said...

Dear David: As a hater of you and your work and the horrible franchises that you created...i want to wish you a very horrible fucken day, thank you:)

Anonymous said...

Wow, you went through the entire process to create a name inspired by someone you don't even know that you hate. What a wonderful life you must have as a typical hater.

Horrible franchises?!?!?! Are you smoking crack? Your games wouldn't be the same with those so called "horrible franchises" you dweeb.

I hate Kotaku. Worse gaming site for news.

BTW, how do you comment on someone elses blog and tell them to get a life? It's their fuckin blog you fuckin moron. Don't click the link and don't read it if you don't like it.

Anonymous said...

David being reasonable for stating his opinions on his blog. And, funny how haters could ask him to get a life when blogging is all about writing your personal opinions and daily events. Haters be Damn, ya b!tche need start getting a life!

Kotaku's b!tch ain't got no shit..

Anonymous said...

@ ABOVE;

Take an English class, you sound like a moron.

Anonymous said...

Kotaku has sucked for a while, usually now post stories that are a couple of days old and they went a whole day without any I think on saturday.

Anonymous said...

Kotaku sucks, its full of 13yo Xbox fans that enjoy sucking dicks

Anonymous said...

The PSblog is the same fucking way. We this, we that. It pisses me the fuck off. Who's we and can I punch we in the fucking face.

Anonymous said...

Kotaku suck ass,sorry,but I used to love that site until they turned into Metal Gear Solid haters

Unknown said...

Hey David here is your extremely well thought out answer....


aw fuck it, it was funny in my head

anyway, it has to be a take on marketing thing, here is your new TV, yours for just 1 dollar a week for the next 57,000 weeks. It is your new tv, take away your new tv today.
etc
its a play on that, right ?

Gazzo said...

I don't go to Kotaku that often, so I've never noticed that. That's a little strange, though. Maybe it's some inside joke?

Although, to be honest, you've been pulling the "Hey you guys, it's David." opening since the dawn of time in your video blogs. Don't change that, though. I always look for it every time you make a video blog.

Anonymous said...

wow, what about your overused phrases:

"ya'll"
"totally swamped"
"chat later"

time for some new material...

Rob Buchanan said...

I wish Kotaku would say.

Here is your Twisted Metal ps3 videos and release date...

Ehh.. we can all have dreams huh Jaffe.

Eddie Inzauto said...

"Here is your..." headlines historically get a lot of traffic. Kotaku wants traffic.

grasshopper said...

Hiatus off had me all happy until I got to the end.

I noticed seeing that also...never really thought about it though.

VGambit said...

While we're complaining about Kotaku:

Use cliffhangers and subtle lead-ins instead of "More after the jump."

Stop banning every commenter who takes the unpopular side of an argument. Just because they don't always agree with you doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to voice their opinion, especially when they try to be as articulate and tactful about it as possible.

VGambit said...

Also: http://www.google.co.jp/search?as_q=&hl=ja&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aja%3Aofficial&hs=zq1&num=10&btnG=Google+%E6%A4%9C%E7%B4%A2&as_epq=here+is+your+&as_oq=&as_eq=&lr=&cr=&as_ft=i&as_filetype=&as_qdr=all&as_occt=any&as_dt=i&as_sitesearch=kotaku.com&as_rights=&safe=images

6040 hits for "here is your" at kotaku.com. Wow.

Anonymous said...

Hi David! I just wanted to let you know that I'm one of those French dudes who always lurk around your blog without posting any comment :) It's been like ages we have been doing so ^^ Yeah I know that's a shame, but that's what we always do when we have nothing to say. Besides, keep us posted and when I say so I mean more POSTS! and more about games, pls...

Anonymous said...

Bruv it's not even them, it's all these fucking geeks and trash game sites (there's so many of them for fuck sake!)

Back in 2002-03 it was all about what console was the best, Xbox Ps2 or Gamecube. That's what every gamers were banging on about

2004-05 was all about graphics.

2006-07 was all about games coming to the PS3 and Xbox 360. People were going on about that.

2008-09 everyone is just fucking banging on about the NPD, sales and who's winning. Freaking annoying.


I'm lately checking out N4G, that brings me so much gaming news. Now all I fucking see are console fucking sales! Fucking geeks, who gives a damn about sales, do I look like a shareholder? I want to know about games coming out, not companies losing. Not knowing about Wii making the biggest sale.

For the pass 2 weeks now, all I'm seeing now is exclusive for 2009. Freaking hell!


I don't check Kotaku much, but IGN has the worst articles. They always come up with wasteful articles!

200

Anonymous said...

Jaffe is the shit.

(As long as the new TM title will be set in the TMB universe.)

Anonymous said...

David YOUR FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!

Anonymous said...

http://www.polymath.co.nz/?p=491

Anonymous said...

Don't bother your pretty "twisted-metal-head" with that yeast infected site.

Anonymous said...

we'll find out AFTER THE JUMP!

Unknown said...

You actually know what the whole "dude huge" thing means? cause I'd still like to know...

Anonymous said...

1) Kotaku bloggers aren't witty or creative enough to write better headlines.

2) If a Kotaku blogger can't write a flamebait or sensationalistic headline, "Here is your..." is the contingency headline. What do you expect from bush league "writers" like them?

3) A typical Koatku post is 2-3 sentences of editorial and 4-5 sentences of quoted material (if applicable). What makes you think they're going to waste any time writing a decent headline?

4) It's Gawker Media after all -- they don't have to try very hard, e.g. "Day Note," "Night Note," "Tell Us Dammit," etc.

5) Kotaku staffers -- especially Crecente and Hackcraft -- have the thinnest skins in the business. Jaffe, had you posed your query on Kotaku you'd have been banned already.

Anonymous said...

Mr Jaffe - delivery!
Here are your E-numbers-laced foods and drinks to keep you hyper

Anonymous said...

Jaffey You are the man!
Agree or disagree with you you always say whats on your mind.
Now can you make us a kick ass game for the Wii Please?

Anonymous said...

Here's your annoying comment of the day...

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