Monday, April 13, 2009

COSMO MAGAZINE FUCKS UP SHIT + GAME PR/ANNOUNCE UPDATE

Hey ya'll- no I do not have an announce date but I talk a bit about it around 7 min on the vid. Before that is me just ranting about Cosmo magazine. Yes...you read that right :)...






Ugh, just look at this bullshit. Such a rusty jar of nasty ass juice. Lordy....

Oh and check out that headline in the upper left: Sex HE Craves....

Excuse me? Now look, I'm all for women (and men) learning some tricks to be better lovers. Sounds great! But in THIS magazine, it's just one more bullshit example of giving women info on how to please their man versus how to please themselves. For me, I'll tell my daughters- when they are old enough, naturally- that their biggest and first responsibility in bed to to make themselves feel good. If they've hooked up with a partner that CONTRIBUTES to that- and if THEY can contribute to his (or her if they go down that road) pleasure while ALSO enjoying themselves?...well, then they have found a winner. But the goal is not to get a fucking gold star and a pat on the head from some dude in the bedroom. Amazing...just amazing. And even MORE amazing is the amount of women out there that have been conditioned to believe this horse shit.

71 comments:

Bluevane said...

I hate Cosmo. Some of my female friends read it, and they're absolutely devoted to it. Following all of it's little details - the irony is that they listen to the magazine, but they won't listen to what men themselves suggest!

Guy said...

Hey man Happy Birthday, looking forward to more rants!

Ratsor said...

Happy Birthday!

Harlequiine said...

Happy birthday David.

I agree 100% with your comso rant. Ever watched Just Shoot Me? That show really explains just how full of shit those magazines are, they just write articles that are absolute rubbish because 14 year old girls who are trying to be all 'grown up' read them to feel more mature. But it just doesn't work that way.

In regards to the game - I'm glad you're almost ready to announce it, really looking forward to it.

TrevDogg said...

happy birthday dave! rant on brother rant on ;-D anyhow can wait to hear more about the game ;-)

Shawn said...

happy birthday...i love the rants and look forward to many more. thanks for the game announce update. good to hear info is coming. can't wait to get a peek at the game........

Archminion said...

Happy Birthday David.

It's great that you're talking about announcement dates- here's still hoping that we can see the official announce by E3 (even if it still can't be shown).

Thanks.

Jacob said...

It's my Dad's birthday today too!

Big Happy Birthday, David. All the best. :)

iceveiled said...

Interesting rant. In our american society, we're very disfunctional sexually compared to, say, a lot of european countries. Here violence is more acceptable than sex. It's okay to show a mutilated body on any of your CSI type shows but a naked woman's (or man's) ass is controversial.

My point is, in a sexually dysfunctional society, this type of shit (magazine's with SEX on the cover 15 times) is popular. That and the old generic idea that sex sells.

People need help with sex. Sex should be this natural thing but in this country it's so fake and fucked up.

NeedlesKane said...

Happy birthday Jaffe!!

sorgriffiths said...

Honestly, I think there is a little hypocrisy in your ideas here in that you only feel - and somewhat jokingly I know - able to rant a lot or talk about the things which get on your nerves when you fit the description of a 'disgruntled old man'. That is also a result of the influence of culture and media, I feel (whether it's a good influence or not is sort of another question).

Anyway, there's nothing more to say about your cosmo rant for me other than you voice my opinions concerning all things about it and related to it perfectly.

I could write my views about it or record a video blog expressing them as well, but it's just refreshing to know that there is someone who a lot of people respect and listen to which shares the same views as me on a lot of issues.

I almost feel alien when I go into my local Newsagents and there is a huge wall devoted to things like cosmo. Is there really a large enough audience in my community to warrant that many materialistic and seemingly self-deprecating magazines?

Maybe it's us that are just out of touch with a large part of the world's demographic since these things do sell. There's no right or wrong, only popular opinion right? :P

Anyway, until my will breaks and I just give up:

Keep spreading the word, man. And Happy Birthday.

Anonymous said...

Cosmo is porn for women. There also happen to be male idiots who believe that Penthouse letters can come true. I'd say the crazy people are those who expect porn to somehow represent reality. It's fantasy. Just like God of War doesn't reflect what its like to be Greek.

mschultz said...

Happy birthday David.

I don't think your age has anything to do with your position on cosmo. I'm 23 years old, and I think those kinds of magazines are bullshit. In highschool I thought they were crap too. Some people see through the masquerade they put on and see it for what it really is.

Gyshall said...

Happy Birthday, brotha.

Hellhound30 said...

Happy birthday Mr. Jaffe. Rant on man...

Shades Perk said...

Cosmo rag-mags, to me, are a good source of unintentional comedy. It may just be me but a lot of is so ridiculous to even legitimately follow.

CosmycMyndFuhk said...

Good post and Belated Happy Birthday! Don't worry about the rants, its actually entertaining, good to hear something about the game, keep on keepin' on.

David said...

Happy birthday, David! ...and yay, more rants! I love your rants! Never stop! ^^

I love how the number always changes on the "Ways to blow his mind / please your man / spice up the bedroom / whatever the fuck" article because I guess it's boring to reprint the same list over and over again. I've gotten a few snickers from girls who see me reading it at the newsstand every once in a while, but I'm curious, dammit! :P I always thought they were bullshit since I was 16, and I'm 24 now. How anyone works for those magazines and either considers themselves a legitimate journalist/writer or keeps a sane state mind is beyond me.

On your other note, I can't wait to see the game! :D

Toyboxx said...

Happy birthday Jaffe!

My heart goes out to all women who are pressured by the media "suggesting" how to live they're lives. And yes as you get older the more annoyed you become. Society has gone to shit because of the "if it feels good do it" mentality that lacks common sense. We've all gone retarded!

America's Top Model, The Maury Povich Show, Cosmopolitan, crap like this needs to be off of store shelves or canceled from the network airwaves. Does anyone really care who the baby-daddy really is? That's what the real life court system is for. Do 12 year old girls need to know how to be better in the sack as if it's some competiton that they can brag about to their friends during recess? Hell no. This crap has got to go! This stuff is destructive towards anybody who invest they're time with this junk.

Zodiak said...

yeah I hate it when girls read a book that makes them lead their lives
AKA He's not into you...or whatever that bullshit is.

so yeah, its just like all the girls who want to look like the girls in the ads, skinny and beautiful. But in reality, it's not like that..

Killusion said...

Happy birthday David, excited to hear more about your new game. :)

Haven't bought PS3 yet because the lack of interesting exclusives, i'm kinda hoping that your game "sells" PS3 for me haha.

Ed said...

Happy Birthday, man.

-rallyRAYS- said...

Happy Birthday Mr. J

I never understood why you apologize for ranting?!!!

Dude, we watch your blog FOR the rants!

Mr. Deja Vu said...

.........can't women be themselves. Happy Birthday though!!!

Can't wait for the game!

YoungZer0 said...

Hey Dave.

I fucking hate Cosmopolitan. My girlfriends reads it from time to time, she calls it a guilty pleasure. She knows it's complete bullshit and only reads it if she wants to laugh her ass off. The picture of the man, woman and society it sells ... It really pisses me off. Thank god i only heard from people who are actually stupid enough to believe this piece of shit.

Anyway, glad to hear the positive news about the game and happy birthday.

=)

YoungZer0 said...

Oh and btw. i'm only 20 years old, so i don't think your opinion has something to do with you getting older.

Casey Cannon said...

Happy Birthday man. I can't wait to hear your ass chewing from now till 39!

Anonymous said...

jaffe ur blog rocks, happy birthday dude.

Keith K said...

Happy fuckin' birthday.

Anonymous said...

What makes it worse is that the advice in cosmo is terrible and actually makes you worse in bed if you follow it and dont pay attention to your partners signals about what youre doing.

CleanNJerk101 said...

38 E-B-DAY punches for David!!

Vitter said...

Happy birthday dave!!! congrats!!! i hope when i get to your age(im 25 not that young..not bragging haha) i can be proud of having a job/work etc that makes me so happy and complete, as of now, i cannot find my way.. even though i dream of my goal..
anyways, have a great day! and im waiting for the news on the game!

drew said...

lmao

awesome stuff man
i was just reading that cosmo mag when i was taken a shit

"forgot to bring my GI mag with me lol"

also i couldnt say it better myself

drew said...

shit man i forgot HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Alastor Mused said...

Happy Birthday!

Your anger seemed to be more addressed with the fact women take the magazine seriously. Meaning they think men are 1 dimensional and that literally only 3 questions will open up a man (for example). In that respect I agree with you 100%. The magazine in turn, turns women into 1 dimensional.

I'm excited the game will be released in about a year, woot woot.

stingerlvl3 said...

David Jaffe, you speak the truth about Cosmo. I read it sometimes at my part-time job and it's a fucking riot. There are many girls who buy magazines like "Seventeen" and shit as well. That's when I wonder things like "I didn't know people could be stupid enough to take this shit seriously enough to actually buy the magazine."

Yup.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad somebody is saying something. Grats David, thanks.

NO FEAR said...

Happy birthday bitch!

After your in your 40's you tend to pick your battles.

Lifes just too short to let small minds matter.

Fersis said...

Happy Birthday.
Keep your hard work so i can play

Anonymous said...

Happy B-Day David!!!
Hope you have a Kick Ass time!!!

Love the Blog man keep it up!!!

Sherban said...

Happy birthday David. Your rants are starting to get a little senile ( ;) ) but I always love hearing you speak/write because you're so very opinionated. And, most of the time, your opinion makes a lot of sense. Keep up the ranting, not just because it's entertaining, but also because it keeps your name out there -- and that's good for all designers

Staircase said...

Hahah. I love you Jaffe.

I agree 100%.

Happy birthday man.

GrYnder said...

Happy belated, Jaffe. Sounds like you had a good one. Nice.

I agree with your Cosmo rant. Horse shit at it's finest. <-- I wrote this half way through your blog, and shortly after you called Cosmo "Utter horse shit." Funny, we both said it. Must be true.

On another note, FUCKING YES. YES. Hoping for an announcement... Soonish! Q3 maybe? Hope so. Can't wait. Whatever it is, I'm jazzed.

...

Yep, I say jazzed now. I just kinda started one day. It's your fault, cause I hear you say it a lot.

Oh, right. When you couldn't stop the video I laughed. Good stuff.

HairyAsHell said...

Happy Birthday! Now you REALLY need to watch out on the junk food ;)

Keep it real and keep blogging. Take care!

HairyAsHell said...

Oh btw... I already convinced my wife to stop reading these bullshit magazines long before I even got engaged with her. She realized how much damage it does to the morale of women. Not to mention how misleading they are. You'll always see titles like "100 ways to please your man" by "some lady". Since when did that "lady" know about what all men want? and vice versa. I think the only thing that girls/women should be learning about sex from are Gynaecologists and schools.

On the other hand, with every page a girl/woman turns, they feel fatter and uglier and makes them forget how beautiful they are. Thats why you see a lot of women wont even leave the house without putting 10 layers of makeup on, its disgusting!

In the process, not only do women loose themselves cuz of this crap, but also loose faith in their beauty. Thats why I prefer my wife WITHOUT any makeup and thankfully, she doesnt like fakeup (pun intended) anyways.

Anyways... remember the medieval times when fat women were considered the most beautiful? Whatever happened to that ideology?

RJ said...

Firts of all, happy birthday, David. Enjoy it with your kids, really...
About Cosmo, you're right, the same way you're right about how game journalists can be really stupid. I know this because I'm one (not that stupid, I hope). Anyway, most journalists are stupid, on games or on Cosmo, simply because they're willing do write almost everything to make sure they sell. And it's getting harder and harder to seel anything... It's wrong! Of corse, bt it's not easy to find the right solution...

The Beaner said...

So are you gonna tell us why you're so pissed at the l.a. times, or do we have to guess?

Arcade Berg said...

Congratulations from Sweden!

Anonymous said...

Happy b-day!!!

jon said...

Your Dark Guns games seemed totally interesting..it would be cool if that was the game you were working on heheh

KonKat said...

I have a friend who loves Cosmo, but I personally don't care for it. All their sex "advice" is quite rediculous, and I agree with you in saying if a woman *needs* this stuff then they have relationship problems that no amount of advice can fix.

I, myself try to make my girlfriend happy, and seeing her happy is what makes me happy.

Now for sex, the media always speaks of sex as a tabboo, but the preasure put on young people to have sex (and strangely, to not have sex at the same time) is not to be ignored (it's quieter, but it's there). I personally never bought into it, but I have friends who really stressed it and acted like it was the end-all-be-all of human life.

KonKat said...

Happy birthday by the way.

Anonymous said...

Oh man I hate cosmo. My girlfriend reads that shit occasionally and it puts all of this nonsense in her head that makes her second guess my commitment to the relationship! Guys can't express themselves?!?!? haaha, more like women can't. You are hilarious. I completely agree with your rant. good shit man, good shit.

PezQ said...

Hyvää syntymäpäivää!


Really great rant. I was laughing my ass off..

Anyways, i want to ask about that marketing strategy something. I loved how Ubisoft decided to first reveal the new Prince of Persia game like..8 months before the launch.

I hate when publishers announce titles 12-14 months prior to launch, mainly because it's such a slap in the face to get exited about something only to hear, " Well..it won't be out until..NEXT YEAR". And i know, this happens to lot of us because we follow the industry much more than the "average" gamer, But still, it would be nice to be able to PLAY the game at least in the same year it has been announced.

PS:
Sorry about piss poor English..

PezQ said...

Hahaha, I didn't really ask anything now did i..

Here goes: As a developer, when do you think is the best time to announce a new title ?

Jeffrey said...

It's just an article. Rather than speak against it because it perpetuates the idea that men are always ready for sex, I find it more....stupid...that they make sex and men much more complicated than we are.

I forget what comedian said it but it's really as simple as "feed me, F*** me, and shut up."

Anonymous said...

It seems Konami's artists have taken a page from Calling All Cars...

http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3173719

Jon said...

This is the type of shit that makes women in our society treated like crap. You are exactly right. I cant beleive this shit. and You are right on it making it sound like the woman needs to get a gold star or a pat on the head or something... And women are getting this shit! This is why women are treated like second and not seriously. Shame on Cosmo. I wish they would see how much bullshit they are putting on the magazine shelves.

Tiho said...

Happy Birthday! so since you're officially "old", I guess we will hear alot of crappy old stories from the before time - the long long ago? :)

JonhX said...

Hi david happy birthday man hope you had an amazing time with the people close to you.
I couldn´t agree more with you about that kind of crap that these magazines want to spread to the younger generation of girls that don´t know about this stuff and really believe that this is the only truth because they read it on a fucking magazine or a friend saw it and told her, etc. but what you can do about it anyway? the best damn thing i can think of is pretty much what you said about how to talk to you daughters about it so they can understand in a more apropiated way.
Anyway, gettin close to 40? XD it´s cool man just don´t freak out ok, see ya later man, i can´t wait to hear about your new game.

kombi said...

Jaffe,

I picked twisted metal black up at some store when I was smaller and played it without ever knowing anything about it. 100% surprise. This is just about impossible now days because I follow your blog and games are hyped so much before they launch. Would it be too much to ask if you held back 98% when hyping the game. Give us something to think about, but make sure we have something to explore/find out when we drop our bones for your great game.

Hope this is a good suggestion.

Happy b day

demonknightinuyasha said...

I'm a little late but happy birthday man!

also I hate mags like cosmo, even more so since taking a few print classes at school.

Rami said...

Happy Birth day!

About the Cosmo magazine...why are you surprised? Go look at men magazine. What do they say? How to please women.

Jangaroo said...

Happy Birthday!

Dutch DeGay said...

Happy Birthday!

Gotta tell ya Dave. This is off the beaten path for your normal posts but..HERE, HERE!!!

I never cease to be amazed by the drivel that gets pushed by these stupid "Women's Magazines". I mean really, WTF? I'll tell you what most of us crave...a woman who's comfortable in her own skin. WHATEVER that skin is! Beauty, geek, freak, whatever...wear it and wear it proudly. Be YOU first and foremost. If your "man" doesn't like it, then go find another one. There's plenty out there. This ain't some "Y The Last Man" scenario for Pete's sake! Good on you for setting your daughters up for success.

Now back to the gmaing goodness. When are we gonna hear more about what you're working on and when we can expect another game. I've played the hell out of CACs!

Dutch

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Cindy said...

Just found your blog, loved this rant. I've hated these retarded magazines my whole life and am constantly disgusted at the image the media throws at us, men and women equally.

It's messed the hell up!

Graham Waldrop said...

Happy birthday, Jaffe!

Totally agree with you on the Cosmo thing. One reason I don't even bother to look at that shit because it's just going to piss me off.

Good news about the game. Hope that an announcement can come soon and that all goes well with the rest of it!

-G.W.

Sherban said...

Sometimes it takes a while to really appreciate something elegant, yet simple.

The camera in God of War is brilliant.

Lee said...

agreed brother this is killing our young girls with this moronic culture

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